I'm legal now...okay, almost

Posted by Guano & Associates | Posted in | Posted on 2:51 PM

Just left the Swedish Consulate here in New York City after having received all of the necessary permits, stamps and visas. All of the worry and anxiety appears to have been caused by misinformation and good-intentions.

Our permits are good from 07 Jul 2008 to 27 Nov 2010. This should be MORE than enough time to get to know Sweden, right?

Now I'm trying to figure out how to get to Nevada today since my tickets were to have me travel on Monday next week!



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In answer to Sarah's query

Posted by Guano & Associates | Posted in | Posted on 6:21 AM

So, I sat down in the airport, thinking I'd waste some time and catch up on my favorite show, The Office. Guess what....

I'm thinking, "excellent Christmas gift idea!"

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Another learning experience

Posted by Guano & Associates | Posted in | Posted on 8:31 PM

I was listening to the last Harry Potter book again this week (yes, that is the level of entertainment I'm reduced to!) and there was this exchange between Hermione and Ron that was peculiar to me at the time:

When Hermione exclaims "Merlin's pants!"

and then Ron retorts "what in the name of Merlin's most baggy Y Fronts"

At the time, I thought Ron's response was oddly and unnecessarily titillating. Maybe it was that my D&D nerdiness (that's Dungeons and Dragons, Mom!) was offended by the irreverant reference to His briefs. But then during my weeks in London this year, I learned that in Britain, "pants" refer to underwear, not trousers. I guess it would have been funnier at the time if I had understood the reference!

Other English to English mistranslations:

UK pavement = US sidewalk
UK metalled road = US gravel or paved road

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I've experienced this look before

Posted by Guano & Associates | Posted in | Posted on 1:14 PM

I found this in the newspaper in Pajala a couple of weeks ago. Though I didn't understand most of the article, I think it was about a group (union?) of nurses striking for more benefits. The photo made me laugh as I think I've been on the receiving end of glares just like those before. My first reaction was, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do it!"


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The great Luleå desertion

Posted by Guano & Associates | Posted in | Posted on 12:12 PM

As you see in the previous post, we are in the process of remodeling our offices. It’s very conducive to a good business and technical environment to have to go out in the parking lot and sit in your car to be able to speak on the phone. The noise from the jackhammers and sheetrock workers is so loud that simply closing your office door or going to another part of the office is not enough.

I was pleasantly surprised when I arrived on Thursday to note that the jackhammer operator was not onsite and it was quiet. Then at noon, everything was quiet and all construction stopped. It took me a while and then I figured it out. I had to figure it out on my own since none of our Swedish coworkers even came into the office today.

Saturday is June 21st, day of the summer solstice, celebrated as Midsummer and Midsummer’s Eve all over the world. However, as one of our most reliable Swedish consultant’s put it,

“Remember that Midsummer (coming weekend) is probably the “most holy” of all the holidays we have in Sweden over the year. I have worked on Christmas day as well as Boxing Day … but it would take much to convince me to work during the midsummer weekend.”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midsummer

or in Swedish with other photos:

http://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midsommar

So here’s my basic analysis, it’s not an official state holiday (not a Red Day) but informally recognized by everyone. Since it fell on a Saturday this year, everyone is taking Friday off. And, no one wants to rush into a holiday, they all took at least half-days off on Thursday.

I drove out around 4pm to go get some groceries before everything closed up yesterday and noticed an abnormal amount of activity in the town center. Upon closer inspection, they were all parking and going into the state-run liquor store, System Bolaget. The cars were parked on the sidewalks and filled all of the paying parking lots. Lines were all the way outside and filled bags clinked loudly as customers filed out.
From the grocery store, I drove to fill up my car with gas and get a soda. There was a line at the pumps, cars two and three deep, waiting to get fuel. I parked and went in; these were all people in flip-flops, cutoffs, and t-shirts. Their cars were packed with coolers, boats, camping gear etc. It took me 20 minutes to get to the pump for my fuel.

I tried to stop at one of the 15000 Chinese restaurants in town to get some dinner on my way but it was closed. There was a sign on the door saying they shut down on MONDAY for the celebration.

My only conclusion is that they go buy a bunch of alcohol, head to the woods and spend it getting drunk with the mosquitoes and moose!

I was told by my Swedish co-workers that I needed to go to Old Church Town (Gammelstad) to see what a true Midsommar’s Eve celebration was all about. So, about noon today, I drove out, parked and wandered around the town. Down in one far corner is a educational, museum-like…thing. It’s not a museum, more like a park with a bunch of buildings, displays, working gardens and animal pens, etc.
I walked around taking pictures for a while. There were lots of families there, all sitting on blankets in the grass, just enjoying the sun. Not knowing anyone else there, I hung out for a while and then walked around the rest of town.



The part that really got me was the small size of these little “cottages”, they seemed so small that no one could really live in them. I didn’t see anyone in them (the sidewalks are right next to the house, so you can’t help but look through the windows) but there were enough varieties of things on display that you’ve got to assume different people decorated them. Finally, as I was leaving, I saw one couple on bicycles stop and enter one of the cottages. Another had the door open and a family was in have a late lunch. I couldn’t picture actually living in one of these things!

Speaking of looking in the windows, this is one of the articles in one of the books I bought. I’m sure it’s completely innocent, but … in my Blattman-boy mind, I couldn’t help but laugh when I read the caption!

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Our offices are being remodeled

Posted by Guano & Associates | Posted in | Posted on 12:08 PM

When they finish, there are supposed to be 37 (?) offices in the building. No more volleyball in the big hall!

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Goat herding sites

Posted by Guano & Associates | Posted in | Posted on 4:19 PM


The grass out back is growing like crazy. Nicole (our friends in Houston) suggested goat herding or teaching Mandy to eat grass instead of dog food.


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The Swedish Bastu

Posted by Guano & Associates | Posted in | Posted on 6:46 PM

Yesterday our mining group was invited by a prospective consultant/management group to a dinner and social event. This was to be put on specifically for our company, three of us invited with the five of them. I had lots of work to do and it started at 3:00pm so I really wasn't excited to attend. But I relented and set off for their office in the late afternoon (wasn't far to go, they were next door to our office!).
We drove to the local shooting range and were greeted by a couple of Finns dressed in chaps, western shirts, and cowboy hats. One, a man in his late 50's with Parkinson's, told me with pride that his hat was a Stetson and that it came with instructions that it was "not 'a' hat, but 'The' hat" and that you weren't supposed to take it off indoors. This gentleman informed us that he was part of the local black powder shooter's association, was a fan of 19th century pistols, and was there to teach us all about shooting black powder firearms.
We shot 44 caliber pistols and a 50 cal. rifle. One of the pistols was loaded like a typical black powder weapon and the other used brass cartridges. The rifle had a hair trigger (dual action) that went off when a large mosquito bit me on the side of the face while I was aiming. After shooting a variety of weapons, they pulled out a modern 22 cal. revolver and gave us each paper targets with our names on them. Given six shells, we each took our shots at 25m and they recovered the targets without revealing our scores. Since I’ve never been able to hit anything with a pistol, I was not hopeful.
From there, we went to the parking lot of the shooting range where we cooked hotdogs over a fire and fought off mosquitoes. Hotdogs were good but … finer ground meat? I can’t quite explain it, but it seems like the meat is more like bologna and less like hotdogs that I’m used to.


We finished eating and from there, it gets a little strange. We drove back to the consultant’s office which is directly next door to our offices. Once inside, we went to the company game room which had a pool table and dartboard. We played for a while and munched on snacks, I drank Coke while they each drank a couple of beers. Then, upon some signal that I didn’t hear, everyone went to the back of the game room where there was a locker room, stripped naked, hopped in the shower and then into the sauna. They all brought a new, cold beer with them. Not wanting to look like the ugly American (metaphorically even though I fit the description literally), I decided I’d join the group.

P.S. this photo is not actually of my time there...this is just a stock image from the web!
Four people entered the sauna before me and when I sat down, I looked around trying, with some apprehension, to figure out where the other two members of our party would sit since we were already sitting very close together on the top bench. I was envisioning have to spread our knees so the guys could on the step below us and thought I’d have to leave the room if that happened.
Other than the homophobic thoughts and trying to keep my eyes straight ahead, all I could think of was the hours of sauna time I spent in high school trying to lose weight for wrestling. The time in the sauna was not exactly the most enjoyable I’ve ever experienced. I stood it as long as the others inside the sauna and then went out to the locker room and took a cold shower. New, clean towels were provided, I wrapped myself in one and followed everyone back out into the game room. There, everything continued as before, pool, darts, snacks and beer. I almost forgot we were all naked until the CEO crossed his legs and body parts appeared!
We got dressed and went downstairs for dinner. There we had reindeer meat appetizers, some sort of roast beef as a main course, and strawberry cheesecake for dessert. Conversations between the Americans, Finns and Swedes covered everything from hunting and shooting to the mining business to the cultural differences. We sat there chatting until nearly midnight. Finally, they announced the winner of the shooting contest; I took second hitting the target 5 out of 6 shots and 3 of them in the black. I’m not sure how but was pleased that I wasn’t the worst.
And now, that’s the story of my first Swedish sauna!

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Permit documents

Posted by Guano & Associates | Posted in | Posted on 5:58 PM

After a couple of "misfires" we finally finished our application for one of our critical permits. What started out as a 20-page document has increased in size significantly!


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I watch way too many TV/movies!

Posted by Guano & Associates | Posted in | Posted on 5:38 PM

As I mowed the lawn today with a severely underpowered mower, I began to have a conversation in my head. I couldn't tell if the mower didn't have the power, if the governor on the gas was set too low, or the emissions equipment stifled the power (and noise) so much that it couldn't run. I had to stop every couple of minutes to clean out the ejector on the mower. The grass was so fine, it looked like hair more than grass. There were dandelions everywhere and seemed to be preserved like wildflowers more than weeds. My landlord doesn't have a weedeater, so I'm confused how to keep the grass short around the house though it appears that they randomly leave long patches in the lawn, almost like they're leaving it for fallow. I mowed a big patch that I'm not sure was supposed to be mowed or not...who knows!
So then this scene played out in my head and I decided to adapt it to my situation!


Jules Winfield: Okay, so tell me again about Sweden.

Vincent Vega: Okay, watcha wanna know?
Jules Winfield: They’re environmentally conscious now right?
Vincent Vega: Yeah, they are, but they ain't 100% conscious. I mean, you can't just walk into a...fast food restaurant, eat, and throw your stuff away. I mean, they want you to sort your trash, paper and packaging in one bin, plastic in another, things like that.

Jules Winfield: And they recycle everything?

Vincent Vega: Yeah, it breaks down like this, okay, if you buy something and take it home, you have to separate your trash into household waste, paper, and plastic. Your trash man comes twice a month but he only picks up the household waste, you have to haul the plastic and paper to the community recycle bins and larger stuff has to go to the main recycle center. But, that doesn't matter, because...get a load of this, alright, if you’re a logging company you can clear cut the forest. And you see people throwing trash out the windows of their cars all the time!

Jules Winfield: Oh man, I'm going, that's all it is to it, I'm really going.

Vincent Vega: I know baby, you dig it the most.....but you know the funniest thing about Sweden is?

Jules Winfield: What?

Vincent Vega: It's the little differences. I mean, they got the same stuff over there that they got here, but it's just, it's just their’s is a little different.

Jules Winfield: Example.

Vincent Vega: Alright, well you can walk into a grocery store in Luleå, and you have to put in a coin to get out a shopping cart; you only get it back when you return the cart. They don’t call gasoline “gas, they call it “benzene”. And pizza is sold mainly by Chinese restaurants. And in Kiruna, you can buy your meal at the drive thru window while on your snowmobile at McDonald's. And you know what they call uh...a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Luleå?
Jules Winfield: They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with Cheese?

Vincent Vega: nah man they got the metric system, they wouldn't know what the heck a quarter pounder is.

Jules Winfield: Then what do they call it?

Vincent Vega: They call it, uh, QP Cheese.

Jules Winfield: QP Cheese?

Vincent Vega: That's right

Jules Winfield: What do they call a Big Mac?

Vincent Vega: A Big Mac is a Big Mac, but they call it En Big Mac

Jules Winfield: En Big Mac, (laughs) what do they call a Whopper?

Vincent Vega: I don't know, I didn't go into Burger King.....You know what they put on french fries in London instead of ketchup?

Jules Winfield: What?

Vincent Vega: Vinegar.

Jules Winfield: Dang, laughter

Vincent Vega: I seen them do it man, they really drown them in that stuff

Jules Winfield: Yuck

(4) Comments

Leaving Houston

Posted by Guano & Associates | Posted in | Posted on 4:58 PM

Well, we're official now. We've sold/given/disposed/stored everything we owned in Houston except the house. On Wednesday last week, the movers showed up with a wood crate about 4ft x 6ft x 8ft to transport everything we plan to take to Sweden. In my head, 200 cu. ft. seemed like a lot, just over sixty 3 cu. ft. boxes...but it doesn't work out that way. The guys were able to get almost everything we set out for them into the box, but it was a tight fit. At least, with it being so tight, there's little chance of anything moving around in there! We sold the cars, filled the storage shed, sold all the furniture and gave away all the food. The house has not sold yet but we're still hopeful . I put Kathy and the kids on a plane on Friday for Nevada and then I flew out Sunday for Sweden. As I looked in the rearview mirror, I couldn't help but swear and think, "%$#*#! What am I doing? This better work out!". I guess that just proves to me how much we enjoyed Houston and while we had challenges there, it was a great experience overall. Who knows what will happen in the future but we will always look fondly back at this time.


Here's a couple of photos of Kylie lighting some firecrackers as we had a "4th of June" celebration with our friends Russell and Nicole before Kathy and the kids left.



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2:00AM in Luleå

Posted by Guano & Associates | Posted in | Posted on 4:53 PM


Woke up in the middle of the night to get a drink of water and this is the sight I see. Remember, I said, MIDDLE of the night, this is what it currently looks like at 2:00AM in sunny Luleå!


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